Embarrassed, but seriously...

So, in all honesty I am a tad embarrassed by the below post, but honestly this has been such a trying past month. Yesterday morning at 5:30 I heard Crew wake up and honestly laid in my bed and cried. I couldn't do it.

We first took Crew to the doctor about 5 or 6 weeks ago with this constant nightly cough that was often so fierce it would make him throw-up. The doctor thought it was one of three things, and determined to use a process of elimination to determine exactly what was going on with the lil' guy. We stuck him on an antibiotic in an effort to cure what 'could be' wrong. The oral medication resulted in a lot of throwing up, Crew just doesn't do well with medicine. I ended up at the doctor nine days later after Crew had had a fever of over 103 for a day or two. Unfortunately, my doctor had now left for a humanitarian mission for the remainder of the entire month of January, so he saw another doctor - a doctor I don't really care for. That doctor thought Crew had strep but we couldn't culture it because he'd been on an antibiotic and that would sterilize the culture, so we left with no culture but since the doctor was certain it was strep we got a rocefin shot and left. Fast forward three horrible days later, the baby breaks out in a crazy alien looking rash all over his body. Another visit to the doctor, well nurse practitioner, because my doctor is still in Africa. The nurse practitioner tells us my baby is nearly dehydrated (from the combination of throwing up due to cough, throwing up due to medicine and the baby not eating or drinking much due to do having so much pain) and that this wasn't strep but rather, Roseola, a minor type of measles without lasting affects. YEAY, so now things are better, EXCEPT that 4 days later I ended up in the instacare with... strep, the real thing this time. I felt like serious crud for about seven days. We were all healthy for about two days (well beside Crew's still constant cough) and then Crew became SO ornery! I wrote it off to teething but after five more days of HORRIBLENESS (one of which included the publication of the previous post) I decided this could NOT be normal and we took yet another trip to the doctor. Unfortunately, it was Thursday and my doctor's day off so I saw yet another nurse practitioner- a different one this time. She determined that now Crew had ear infections, she put him on another anti-biotic and sent us home. We tried to give him his oral medication three times on Thursday and after he ended up throwing up blood, I determined we were done with that and started putting the medicine in his bottle, that seemed to work. The next four days were still horrible, but yesterday Crew seemed to be doing a bit better, by now the doctor's office was aware of Crew's craziness and told me that even though he was feeling better, they still wanted me to bring him in because he's had this dumb cough. So, this afternoon we took yet another trip to the doctor. He took a look at the kid, and he still has ear infections. So, now he is on a series of rocefin shots and a steroid to help curb his cough. It's kinda the last leg until they break out the 'bigguns' AKA- a nebulizer for his cough and tubes in his ears. At this point I almost don't care, I really feel like this has been such a long, hard, emotionally draining month. I just hope that whatever happens I end up with a healthy boy, I'm not asking for healthly and happy because naturally he is not a happy kid...

I know this is nothing in comparison to some stuff others have experienced but it's been so hard. So, yes I am a bit embarrassed by my attitude and verbiage, but I feel I have reason. Bare with me.