Never forget

Crew @ dinner: "Hunter, from way over here your head looks tiny!“

Something I found online... Love.

Of course, now that my kids are teenagers, I know the truth. Parenting is complicated; it’s wonderful and challenging. Exhausting and gut wrenching. Heart warming and heart breaking.

Just wait until your preschool son sees you in the hallway at pick up time and covertly grins and waves to you. (It’s the best flirting in the world.)

Just wait until you watch your kindergartener jump off the bus after that first day, triumphant and tired, melting into your arms.

Just wait until your son is up to bat, and strikes out, holding it together despite disappointment. And just wait until the crack of the bat meeting the ball surprises him and he races to first base…safe.

Just wait until your daughter stands up for a classmate who is struggling, and her peers, humbled, apologize.

Just wait until your child, painfully tethered to tubes and machines in the hospital, whispers, “I just want my mommy.” (and you are suddenly aware that your presence is more powerful than any prescription.)

Just wait until your son gets his very first summer job and he is, unmistakably, walking taller and more confidently as a result.

Just wait until your child’s quick sense of humor makes you double over with laughter.

Just wait until you hear your son invite a friend to church.

Just wait until your daughter receives her first college acceptance and you find yourself overcome with tears…not because she’s leaving, but because she’s ready.

The baby in the stroller whimpers, breaking my reverie.

I smile at the couple and look them straight in the eye.

“You have so much joy ahead of you…” I remark…

Uncertainty...

I really hope this isn't a premature post to write, but I have so had so many thoughts regarding Lucy the past few days and feel like I would surely regret not putting my thoughts into words.  It's amazing how someone you have never met, and is half a world away can consume your thoughts and expend so much emotion.  It's difficult to care about and love someone who is in someone else's care, to trust others with what you feel is part of your family and heart.  It's so crazy to feel so strongly about Lucy, and all the news we normally receive is more of the same, which is usually nothing.  No changes, neither good nor bad.  To receive news of uncertainty and possible deceit is heart-wrenching. We pray for Lucy everyday and hope that we are able to bring Lucy home to our family soon,
http://loveforlucy.com/it-just-happened/

Happy 7th birthday, Hunter!

So the more you play the dirtier your house is right? Then we must have played a lot today! Because the house is trashed. We started the day with breakfast in bed for Hunter his choice: eggs and flaps. He wanted a sandwich though with sausage (like Jay, of course)- but we didn't have any sausage. Jay made a special flap in the shape of a 7 for Hunter, he was super excited! We gave him a sweet remote control car, some new shoes that unfortunately I don't think fit. Kennedy gave him a turbo toy and Crew gave him a voice changer. voice changer is pretty cool, but pretty much the most annoying toy in the world. After that they want to swim team. After swim team we did a few jobs and headed to Walmart to buy Skylanders Giants for HD, he previously only had Skylanders so we sold that and got Giants. Then we headed to get some lunch at Taco amigo and then we went bowling. Immediately after bowling we headed to Hunter's swim meet. He did awesome! He totally swim perfectly straight for his back stroke it was so great to see so much improvement. During the swim meet, I let the kids play at the pool which was a super good idea. After his last event we left and went to pizza pie cafe for his birthday dinner he wouldn't leave until the people working there sang to him! Then we came home and played with lots of his new toys. Its so fun to see them play with their new stuff and how excited they are for it. I really can't believe that Hunter is already 7 years old. the time has gone by so quickly and it's really one of those bitter sweet things. It's so happy and fun to see them become who they are but so sad and difficult to see them grow up. I love my kids so much and hope that Hunter's birthday was really really happy!

Choose to Be Happy

Choose to Be Happy- that's our family motto.  We try to live it and be happy, because happiness really is a choice.  However, like many other righteous decisions sometimes deciding to do so can be really hard.  Sometimes, I want to bathe in self-pity, have no responsibilities and sleep-in till noon (well, in reality, I always want to sleep-in till noon.)  For pretty much all of 2012 and unfortunately the first seven weeks of 2013 were filled with a lot of challenges for our little family. Thankfully, nothing major nor nothing life-altering, but it was really just like a "kick-us-while-we're-down" 59 weeks.  It felt like one lame thing after another.  It got old- and sometimes choosing to be happy wasn't so easy.  But, the past few weeks I've felt so different, (hopefully saying it out loud isn't jinxing nature!) I feel really happy!  And I've hardly had to put forth any effort to feel that way.  I don't know if it's the weather, the fact that the horrible month of February is finally over, the thought that the questions about our families future are (maybe/ possibly) finally being answered, or just what.  I don't know what the difference is, but I am so happy, to feel happy without effort! I feel loved and appreciated and feel close to my Heavenly Father.  I love the time I spend with my kids, viewing their childhood innocence, while watching them grow and mature.  I love my little house and making it mine and decorating for all the fun holidays.  I love and feel so loved by my husband.  He really is pretty much the coolest person I know.
I feel I've had so many negative and sad feelings lately and just want to make sure I know (cause guaranteed I will probably have a sucky time in the future) it does end.  And even though the lady at the Sushi House really pissed me off on Saturday- my happiness is in my control and is still my choice.  Even though, it is still my choice, sometimes it comes easier than others.  I am thankful for those times.
And because no post is complete without pictures here are a few of the fun-days we've had lately (our nice camera broke while Jay was in Africa.  I am sad- but still choosing to be happy :)

March 1st- Kennedy and I on our Mommy/ Daughter date.  Dinner (her choice- One Man Band) and the Broadway across America Shrek play at Capital Theater.  We had SO much fun!

Feb 15th- Hunter and I on our Mommy/ Son date!  We went to the 3D Ice Age movie at the dinosaur museum, and then to frozen yogurt.  Loved the night out with my lil' gentleman.

Feb 8th- Since Daddy was in Africa, Grandpa Bill took Miss Kennedy to the Valentines dance.  She had a great time and is so lucky to have amazing grandparents!

Video games- they make Hunter love Friday nights!

February- One of the cute little orphans Jay met on his trip to Liberia with Sahbu- someday I will write a lot more about this.  This organization has touched our lives in so many ways.

March 1st- Crew and HD on the 'guy date' with dad!  They went to the Hutching's museum with their dad.  They got to play drums, touch snakes and scorpions, and even hold petrified dinosaur poop.  They loved it!

Sunbeam

Our newest Sunbeam Crewser gave his first talk in primary today. He was so excited and not nervous at all. It made me a little sad that this will be the last 'first talk' my kids will give. This was his talk: A long time ago we lived in n heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Then Jesus came to earth and He died so that we can all be with our families and Jesus forever. 3 and a half years ago I was born. If I am good and choose the right I can be with my family forever and see Jesus again. I love Jesus.
He pronounces Jesus as jee-jus. I loved it. I'm so going to miss having a toddler. But will always love being a mommy.

Funny thing

Today Crew had just gotten out of the tub, he looked at his hands and said: "Look mom!  I am all sprinkly!"
Pretty sure he meant wrinkly.  Love that boy.

Anniversary #12

We can't seem to remember anything we did for our anniversaries, so I'm making sure I blog this one. We stayed at the Double Tree in SLC, went to the Roof for dinner, saw Les Mis (amazing.) Shopped at City Creek and went to the Desert Star. It was a great time with my favorite man.

Because some moments I don't want to forget, ever.

Because I forget the funny parts.

May 13, 2012:
Hunter: "Mom, I had some M&Ms for you. But I got hungry. 
And I ate them. It was an accident. Say 'it's okay."

May 31, 2011:

Hunter: "Mom, I love you when you take me swimming!" Me:"That's the only time you love me?" Hunter: "NO!.... I love you when you take me to the carnival too."

May 22, 2010:

Kennedy: "Mom, why do only men fall asleep in church?"

Don't Carpe Diem

While I normally would never title a post this, because I normally try not to believe that way.  However, this was well said, my friend, well said. And I do love being a mom- I am just happy this lady put it into a realistic perspective.  (Read the whole thing before you judge)  Loves.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

And just to keep me smiling...

Dad: "Hunter!  What are you doing?!"
Hunter: "Getting dressed like you asked!"
Dad: "Well, how about you start by putting down the bacon!"

I heard this one while in the other room and couldn't stop laughing, SO Hunter!

Mom: "Kennedy, what is on your leg?"
Kennedy: "Oh, I drew on myself."
Mom: "What does it say?"
Kennedy: "It's a math problem."

And this one... SO Kennedy!
Love them.

Whirlwind

First day

A huge portion of our house was down to the 2x4s.  The top floor had nearly all the sub-floor replaced. 

So, within two weeks of the previous post, on August 5th, I went through one of the most difficult trials of my life.  Our home, the one we just moved out of and are renting, flooded.  Like really flooded, like $20K in damage flooded.  While the tenants were at church the main valve to the toilet just popped off!  So basically, like a hose on full blast inside the house for hours.

Progress makes me happy!

When the tenants called to tell us what had happened, I grabbed a few towels and we headed over.  We pulled up to the house to see water coming OUT of the front of the house.  It was that bad, and SO much water!  The repairs have lasted an upwards of 4 weeks (things are still not complete) I felt like crying and have since spent many days doing so. I never knew it could be this draining. I have felt so physically, emotionally, and mentally drained.  I spend HOURS on the phone everyday trying to coordinate the workers, pick colors, vanities, etc. and relay the messages back to the tenant and the insurance adjuster.  I just feel horrible for our tenants, because it is their HOME and there is nothing like having to uproot your family from your home.  And to make everything more difficult I have felt really alone in it.  With the kids going back to school, like was even more chaotic than usual and I have just felt like no one understood. I know I am having a total pity party and that life could be throwing me much harder challenges, but this year, 2012, has NOT treated us well.  I don't need to repeat my laundry list of trials we've experienced, but I definitely feel that we have had our fair share (at least to last awhile- we could get like a 5 year trial credit::).  Sometimes, in the midst of experiencing trials it is SO difficult to see what you can learn from this and how it can bless your life, and needless to say, I have felt that way and even found it difficult to be happy- which is very much not 'me', so I did my best to take the advice of my best-friend and "suck it up"- (really she said it a lot kinder than that.  She always says the right thing.  Love her.)  So, we've experienced a really crappy few months and naturally, it made me sad.  But that doesn't mean I am depressed or I need some emotional help.  I just need to realize that trials are part of life; I need to buck up and face them with the best self.  I continuously prayed for the strength to do so, and then one day (on Friday the 24th), I woke up HAPPY! I knew it was all okay, well I always knew it was okay, but I finally felt it was/ would be okay.  We are here to be tested and go through trials and ENDURE, right?  So, even if it sucks horribly and we don't feel like dealing with it, we can!  And we have a Heavenly Father who knows we can!  And even if we feel alone in what we are going through, we aren't!  Life is hard. I can do it. I can do it with a smile on my face.  I am thankful for my life.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

So, I know that as of lately I have written blog posts nearly only when I have a lot on my mind.  And the times when I have a lot on my mind, tend to be the times I am kinda in a rut.  Moreover, if there is one thing that bugs me, it is negative people.  I try really hard to be a positive happy person, but sometimes the "dark side" takes over and all I want to do is complain.  This being said, the following post may complain a lot and I apologize in advance.  Life has been a little harder than I am used to lately and I know that not only should I write about the happy times in life, but the sad included- to help myself know that I can get through trials and possibly to even help others.

The beginning:
In November we made the decision to move.  It was a decision that took us forever and it was a hard decision (I understand that for some, the decision to move is minimal- for us, it wasn't, it isn't, and I highly doubt it ever will be).  So, after literally MONTHS of praying to know what to do we did what we felt was right and rented out our house and moved into my parents apt. to save to build.  Ya know how when you make a decision to do something and it is so right that everything just falls into place?  That totally happened to us.  We put our home up for rent, had tons of interest- found AMAZING renters after just one week.  The move went fast, we got a great deal on a storage unit, sold the last of our puppies just hours before moving into my parents home (we left one house to go to St. George and returned to the other house- we sold the puppy in Nephi- to the same person who saw him in St.G.  He just happened to stop at the same gas station as us on the way home at the same time we were there and decided he wanted him.) see everything was falling perfectly into place- until we actually moved.
While we were moving, I backed into the deck in the garage, the day after we moved in the water heater went out, exactly 7 days later the toilet broke (which took 3 separate efforts to fix), the dishwasher flooded, then the dishwasher flooded BADLY- there was about 2 inches of water through about 60% of the apartment, the sink backed up entirely (we had no kitchen sink or dishwasher for 4 days), our car DIED- like totally dead, we had to buy a new car died, Jay had job unrest, etc.  And the etc. isn't a joke.  We had to spend $1500 in car repairs for our "good" car, I made the ridiculous decision to run the family owned snow shack (if I'd previously not known stress- I know it now),
The now:
It's really just felt like everything we've been working for has been slipping through our fingers.  We'd found a lot we really liked, it sold.  We found a lot we really liked, it sold.  We found a group of lots we really LOVED, they sold.  It's hard when you have your heart set on an area about 1.5 miles in diameter... (especially when it's one of the most expensive areas in the county)
The hardest part of me hasn't even been any of these things though, it's been the unknown.  Since we've moved I've felt like I've fallen into a good fit in regards to my ward/ neighborhood.  In the beginning, it was really hard to move in to the ward we grew up in and especially difficult being that we had a lot of family in the ward.  I didn't want my SIL's friends to be my friends, just because they were her friends... I really wanted to get to know people and let them get to know me- as me- not as part of a family.  It was hard for a really long time, but after we moved- even though we are in the same ward, I finally feel like I've found my "spot"- and the part that stinks is that just when I feel it feels right, is when it's not permanent.  I know that people live there lives like this- many people move annually at best.  Maybe I should just not care about the fact that I am (hopefully) moving in the near future and let myself continue to make ties with people I care about... but I sort of feel like 'why sew the seems if I am just going to have to come back and rip them apart in a year or so'?  My heart has a hard time letting go of any good relationship.  Even though I know many relationships last forever and it doesn't matter where you live- I still struggle.  So now, I feel stuck in a way- I  feel like I need to decide if I let the temporary feel permanent or continue living in this state of "limbo" but save my heart the trouble of letting go later.  It's hard; really hard.
The future:
At least I feel like I've had a long time to think about where we are in life- and I understand to many this probably appears so lame, I know that many people struggle with much greater trials in life- this just happens to be mine, and trust me- it's been hard enough for me.  I feel like what I need to do is take care of the root of the problem for now, which is mostly my attitude.  I feel that I've been allowing my happiness to be based on something that in the long run- really doesn't even matter at all.  I need to look at the fact that although we've gone through unplanned career changes, at least Jay has an awesome brother who's provided him with an awesome job that he loves.  Even though we've gone through several unplanned financial crises, at least we're living with less expenses now, and are in a better position to handle them.  Even though, I am really sad that I am going to have to say good-bye to a place, ward, and neighborhood that I love, at least I am lucky enough to have something that will make saying good-bye hard. I need to just remember (always) what matters most- and do it.  I know the future is bright.

I'm a blogger

So, I was at a family party on Sunday when someone mentioned a story on my blog.  "My blog?" Oh, my.  I realized I hadn't even thought about my blog for a LONG time.  My sis grabbed her laptop and I looked it up.  It had been nearly a year!  I feel ashamed.  Kinda embarrassed as I was on to hop on the blogging bandwagon faster than nearly anyone else, I was such a dedicated blogger, I can't believe I gave it up so easily.  I even had several blogs that were written but unpublished, I published one tonight :) - the others might need to wait a bit longer. Needless to say, I am back.  (At least I am going to make my best effort).
Anyway, my blog and I had a nice "catch-up" and I totally made myself laugh, a lot.  Sometimes, I think I am hilarious, even if no one else does. Here's to blogging!  Love, Kira

Moving on.

October 2011:
So, there are those people out there who've lived in all parts of the country, and some who've even lived in other countries. I've always kinda wished I'd been one of those peeps, that I'd have been able to say- "oh, back when we were living in Iowa" (yeah- I even picked one of the most potentially boring states to help get my point across) but I married homegrown, and we are both WAY too in love with our city. (Obviously, we left it to live in the neighboring city for 4 years- and that was it for us). Jay and I each grew up here and have great memories of it as kids. Before we had kids I really thought I could live wherever and be okay with it, but as time wore on my kids were quickly falling in love with living so close to their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  They love their school and the neighborhood, as do Jay and I.  So, needless to say making the decision to move took us over 8 months.  We felt like we needed to invest more into our current home or invest into a new home, we just had to decide which it was.  Being that Jay's dad is a contractor- we thought that building was an opportunity we needed to experience (and building a home is on our "bucket" list).  So, Jay and I have decided to make the not-so-big, temporary move to my parents' apartment for the next who-knows-how-long (it has to be at least a year due to new regulations- lame).  No tears, no tears- (I keep telling myself).  Wish us luck on our big move.

Summertime... and the livin' is easy!

So, I know most moms are, by now, probably counting down the days until school starts. I don't think that will ever be the case for me! From September through May, Jay and I are continuously questioning why we thought teaching would be a good choice for a career; however, come June... those questions are gone as we are able to spend nearly 3 months together as a family everyday! Somedays are difficult because I am still working, but we are able to get something fun in nearly everyday. I really dread school starting... I'll do my best to not shed any tears that day.

A few of our summer favorites are:

Swimming at PG pool

Seven Peaks

Snow Shack

Swim team/ lessons

Going to the park

Ranch!

Walks

And here are some of our summer favorites:

Red Cliffs- SO fun!

Splash pads!

Raising Chickens- and we got our first egg yesterday!

The kids have gotten along amazingly well this summer.

The kids love trips to the Ranch- this week a bear made his way to the cabin deck- about 15 yards away from where my husband and two oldest kids were sleeping in hammocks just two days earlier. YIKES!

Swim team! This was one of my favorites of the entire summer! We all LOVED it. I loved the atmosphere, and the fun competition. I also feel like I was able to get closer to my brothers and sisters in law and our nieces, which is awesome.

Hunter loved his swim lessons- finally passed level 2!

Kennedy ready to rock her butterfly!

We decided to do a garden again this year, the kids are old enough to help and really enjoy it. They get so excited when we get any vegetables!

Strawberry Days Banter

I wish I could type as fast as I can think. Wouldn't that be awesome?! I think so much; my brain is like on overload all the time. (Maybe someday that invention will exist- and then I will say "I thought of it first"- just like the mouse that scrolls up and down AND left to right... genius... and it was my idea, I swear.) Late at night I lay awake and think of blog posts, really I do. They never get posted, but they sound so nice and eloquent in my head... I get so excited and then I wake up and can't even remember what I wanted to blog about, or I do remember and then I sit down to update and I just sound like a dummy. I am no writer,- that's for sure. If I can think of the most torturous day of my life, it would likely include writing (and would for sure include being along)- so alone and writing= torture! But regardless of my inability to successfully translate my thoughts to paper I am going to blog right now. (I have exactly 17 minutes to blog.)

Some people. Today at the parade we were sitting in an okay spot that Jay staked out at 8AM this morning. The spot would do but we only had 2 chairs and the kids couldn't see much. Jay noticed a HUGE spot (about 15' x30') just to the right of us- with NO ONE sitting in it. (Keep in mind this is in the yard of a church.) So, I got up and asked an older lady sitting behind the roped off section if we could sit there- being there was no one there. The lady told me the people sitting in front off the roped off section were the ones to ask and that they'd already rudely kicked her off the sidewalk, (she had a child in a wheelchair mind you) but she informed me that if I asked them they would cheer for me really loud. So, I approached the lady and tried to handle it the nice way; explaining that they are only five of us and our kids can't see, and no one in their party has even shown up, etc. Her response? "Well, that's what you get when you don't plan ahead?!"

Seriously!!! I bantered something back about there being no way they possibly needed ALL that space, and her mom turned around and said "If you're nice, we might let you sit here." Seriously?!!!! Are we five? In the yard of a church! My response: "Since you own the place." Anyway, this went on for a minute or two... no yelling, but them repeatedly telling me I should have planned ahead (apparently there is some high competition for a 'spot' to watch the Strawberry days parade these days- 8:00 am the day of no longer cuts it.) and me telling them I really doubted their family would even fill up 1/3 of the section they had roped off- unless they had a family of about 200 people. I was so bugged.

Defeated, I took my original 8:00 am seat, but the nice old lady who was now my cheerleader loudly told me "we won't stoop to their level; but we can talk about it really loud." She was funny and I like her.

About 10 minutes later (after the parade has started), the first dumb lady stands up and announces to everyone that we can now sit in "their" spot, but NOT in the shade. Seriously?!!! I felt so stupid even moving over there, under their 'conditions' but I did regardless, so that my kids would at least enjoy the parade.

Guess what happened next? NOTHING!!!!! NO ONE EVEN SHOWED UP! NOT A SINGLE PERSON CAME TO CLAIM THEIR HIGH REAL ESTATE PARADE WATCHING SPOT!

I eventually scooted my family over to the shady section and spread my blankets out as big as they could go, of course others followed. The sad thing is they never took down the ropes so other people just kept sitting outside the ropes, and it took an inside rope citizen to let them know it was "okay" to sit inside the ropes. The nice old lady kept just telling me how those people must just feel so embarrassed after all that, and not have a sole showed up! Good! I hope they felt so stupid.

So, I am not a confrontational person, and am surprised I even asked to sit there when I knew the answer was "no", Maybe I just had an innate desire argue today? Regardless, I just keep replaying the whole thing and wonder why these people were so dang rude and how I would have handled it if I'd been in their position. Maybe some thing like: "We think we will only have about 20 people coming, and should only need this section here; so feel free to sit wherever else." (even though no one even showed up!) or maybe even: "Ya' know they must be running really late, can you wait just 10 more minutes?" They just handled the entire thing with no class or dignity. Sometimes I just wonder about people. Do you really think there are people in the world that somehow feel happier or better about themselves if they treat someone so horribly? Maybe it is just the fact that those two ladies had control of where about 100 people were (or were not) sitting.

So, crazy mean parade ladies out there, I really hope you somehow stumble upon my blog and realize that mean people suck and being a crabby patty is only going to make your life sad. The end.

I love Strawberry Days! (even with that crabby patty)

To Remember, Cherish, and Laugh at!

Hunter is such a sweet boy (deep down inside) sometimes it's hard to see, but it's there. This entire Mother's Day weekend he kept telling me: "Happy Valentines Day, Mom!" It was so awesome.

Also, tonight's FHE was on emergency preparedness and self reliance. We finished by making a 'goal' list of things we should try to get for emergencies. Jay mentioned a generator and asked the kids if they knew what a generator was. Kennedy did. She explained to us how a generator is someone who cleans the school...

We've also had a few, unwelcome, lessons in doggie love while dog-sitting. I was totally shocked when Kennedy started telling me (with visual aids mind you) how Titan (my brother's dog), was giving Jack (my mother's dog)... a piggy back ride. Oh heavens, I so dread the day she puts it all together.

I love being a mom. Sometimes it's the hardest thing I've ever done and some days I'm already at my end by 9:00 am, but I love the life I've been given. So thankful to be married to the love of my life and have three lovely babies.

When Hunter was a baby, he looked like Jack Jack! (people told us-- several times)

Today, Hunter looks like Dash!

Will our boy grow up to be "Mr. Incredible?"