How could you not love this adorable little guy?! Although I love him, I tell you, sometimes it is so hard and takes everything I have to keep trying with Hunter. He is so different than Kennedy. Everyone tells me it is just the difference between a boy and a girl, but SERIOUSLY?! Does it have to be this different and this hard?! 90% of the time the boy is so nice and happy, but he has this little mean streak, I think it is a combination of Hunter not knowing how to take out his frustrations, testing his boundaries, and testing his strength. He goes into these little fits of rage and tries to hit, pinch, scratch, or bite the nearest person. I like to think it is getting less frequent but just yesterday while at Thanksgiving Point a little boy backed into Hunter, so he hit him. Then he pushed his cousin down for no reason at all, then when we came home I didn't put his money in his pocket (I know... THAT is a whole other topic.) and so he scratched my face, then before bed he bit Kennedy on the leg. I try time outs and they don't seem to work unless I really yell at him, which I HATE doing. I have even spanked him once, which makes me feel like the crappiest parent ever and I don't think he understands that either (he isn't even 2 yet). But I just can't figure out a solution. Parenting Kennedy has always been so easy, but now I feel like I am dealing with a totally different species... and I have no idea what to do! Please give me any advice you have; I think I am willing to try anything (as long as it doesn't involve hurting my child). No more babies for Jay and Kira until I've got this baby figured out!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Advise PLEASE!
How could you not love this adorable little guy?! Although I love him, I tell you, sometimes it is so hard and takes everything I have to keep trying with Hunter. He is so different than Kennedy. Everyone tells me it is just the difference between a boy and a girl, but SERIOUSLY?! Does it have to be this different and this hard?! 90% of the time the boy is so nice and happy, but he has this little mean streak, I think it is a combination of Hunter not knowing how to take out his frustrations, testing his boundaries, and testing his strength. He goes into these little fits of rage and tries to hit, pinch, scratch, or bite the nearest person. I like to think it is getting less frequent but just yesterday while at Thanksgiving Point a little boy backed into Hunter, so he hit him. Then he pushed his cousin down for no reason at all, then when we came home I didn't put his money in his pocket (I know... THAT is a whole other topic.) and so he scratched my face, then before bed he bit Kennedy on the leg. I try time outs and they don't seem to work unless I really yell at him, which I HATE doing. I have even spanked him once, which makes me feel like the crappiest parent ever and I don't think he understands that either (he isn't even 2 yet). But I just can't figure out a solution. Parenting Kennedy has always been so easy, but now I feel like I am dealing with a totally different species... and I have no idea what to do! Please give me any advice you have; I think I am willing to try anything (as long as it doesn't involve hurting my child). No more babies for Jay and Kira until I've got this baby figured out!
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6 comments:
That's a hard one. Two year olds can push your buttons! I am not for spanking either, but Aspen bit me once and I slapped her face once (not hard) but to get her off and out of shock! I cried harder than she did and felt ashamed. Have you made it a matter of prayer? I know that sounds simple, but I don't make it through my days without asking the ultimate loving parent for advice. I am going to talk to a Social Worker who specializes in dealing with children about some books to help kids to deal with their emotions. When I get some books to look at, I'll let you know too. Hang in there, you are a good mom.
Hey, I found a good website after I saw this shiny grandma lady on Studio 5. I researched and her website is: www.positivediscipline.com
Her name is Jane Ed. D. Nelson
I liked her website and am going to go to Barnes and Noble or the library to check out her books. Her spot on Studio 5 was encouraging and she seemed to have lots of good ideas!
Oh Kira! As a mother of 2 little boys and one little girl, believe me -boys are much much harder than girls when they are little. They are crazy! The stories I could tell you. Kids think differently than adults and boys think differently than girls so you are at a double disadvantage. All I can say is that it does seem to get better as they get older (the terrible twos are really rough) and that God picked YOU to be his Mom for a reason. Believe me, I've been there, we all have. It's sure good to catch up with you! Bridget said to tell you hi when I told her I ran into you. She still remembers tagging along with as when we were kids. Keep smiling!
Brittany
Kira!!! I feel your pain! I don't even have a girl to compare it to. Preston just got over a 'phase' that had Carlton and I pulling our hair out tring to figure out what in the world to do with him. It was SO hard to remind myself that he's 2 1/2 and learning so much still. the most frustrating thing is when you know the kid knows better and acts better most of the time and then for no appartent reason at all they act completely opposite..All thought it's really hard sometimes my approach with Preston has always been to reason with him. to take the time to explain what he is doing is hurting someone, then I'd tell him that nice boys don't bite, hit, whatever he was doing and then I'd make sure I really emphisised telling Preston that he was a nice boy and that mommy wanted to help him be a nice boy.
I also keep reading articles and things and they ALL say that it's important to try to find out why the child is acting the way they are, stress in some part of life, the need for attention, tired, hungry, whatever. So that's helped me to, to take a step back and think about what could be making Preston act the way he is.
I do however think that however you and Jay decide to approach your concerns the two most important things are to be consitant and make sure you always show Hunter you still love him even when he gets in trouble (you know after you're done discipling)
I know this is a huge comment but I hope something helps. Good luck! let us know what you end up doing, we have another boy comming and I already think he's going to be more wild than Preston.
That's tough. I found the best parenting book that helped me with CArter, he was a similar little joy! The books are called Love and Logic. They have helped me so much with Carter when time-outs stopped working so well and they have nothing to do with spanking. When you come down I'll let you take the book with you on your trip or get a cd from the library to listen to on your drive. They have one for toddlers but it goes up to teens too which I think will be a great help. They have turned around Carter when we do it right. Or, call me and I'll give you a few main points to start with. I love love love these. Good Luck!
ok, so after my novel of a post I just have one thing to add. Preston just got done going thru a 'phase' and how do I know it's over? one day he woke up as happy as I've ever seen him! just like that, a switch flipped and it's over, but he is taller. It's so hard to know what kids are going thru and how to help them.
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